My Why. Part 2.
May 11, 2020
If you haven't read part 1, check it out HERE!
This all sounds so magical right? Entrepreneurship is so wonderful and fun! However, with this newly created freedom and mountain of possibility created something new and different. Insecurity, stress, overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and loneliness.
I was doing something different than most of my friends, family, and peers. I was starting a new business and spending pretty much all of my free time, working on the business. I was no longer, consistently putting money into a 401k and the money seemed to disappear as quickly as it came….
Then the first big blow came, like a punch in the stomach…. My student loans raised their ugly head… The company had made a mistake and the auto debit was not being processed… for over 3 months… I know this sounds ridiculous.. this is something I should have noticed right? I didn’t because 1) I do not have the best organization and skill when it comes to money management and 2) I was used to (previously) not accounting for every expense that came out of my bank account… I just lived life and all was well…. Well. I had to figure out what to do, to produce money to cover expenses, when I was already just barely scraping by with monthly bills.
Not long after, I received a tax bill that crippled me yet again….. Ugh. I felt like my life was over. I seriously remember feeling like…. “everyone was right! What the HELL was I thinking, that I had a right to do this?” I felt exhausted, embarrassed, defeated… I had imposter syndrome. I remember feeling not only these things, crippled with fear, debt, exhaustion, and for what???!
The only way I was able to scrape myself off of the floor was…. My roommate at the time. An over 50 pharmaceutical director who was living in my upstairs room while on a temporary assignment. He told me two things 1) This is not the end of the world… people have debt, people can sometimes owe taxes… he shared his own story of this and told me that there are payment plans to help people who are in my very situation. 2) He asked me why I did all this in the first place? Why did I quit my job and why did I want to do my own thing?
I peeled myself off the floor and I remembered, why…… I did this, because it was THE ONLY option for me. I could not work for anyone else. I wanted to create a business and I wanted the freedom to do what I wanted. I wanted to create a business that would help clients and the team have better work life balance…. In fact that was the name of my cleaning company.. “Work Life Balance House Cleaning, LLC”. My confidence was crushed and the financial blows put me in a place of such frustration… but I got back up and kept going…. Pushing harder and putting another room up for rent, to help with expenses… I was starting to get creative.
I needed this frustration and feeling to keep driving me harder and harder and harder. I could not give up. It was not an option.
I was finally able to get to a point where I was able to cover most of my expenses and my business was running with a significantly lower than average overhead. I was boot strapping and bobbing and weaving. Along the way there were multiple other “surprises” that showed up financially, but I KEPT going and did not quit… however, I started to lose site of who I was…. I was no longer a leader/an executive in corporate…. I was a business owner starting from scratch and working my way up the mountain of experience again. My confidence was lower than low.
I was insecure with who I was and on several occasions, made comments like “no one will ever want to date me”, because of how I felt and where I was. The only thing that made me feel better, was reading and having the knowledge that most business owners have mounds of debt, just trying to get off the ground… my debt was actually not THAT bad (all things considered) and I was working out of a smaller hole than many others.
My roommate assured me that if I just focused on ONE thing for the next few months, it would be confidence. He let me know that we all have chapters in our life and the other ones before this, had to happen. It was now time to start a new chapter…..
From then, within a year and a half I had met quite a few amazing people (roommates) and started dating (event though I honestly had become fine with the fact, that maybe I would end up alone…. With just my fur kids- a cat Linda, and two dogs, Ben and Mortimer)… After downloading an app called “Bumble”, as recommended by my roommate Annie at the time… I swiped right… What proceeded was beyond my wildest expectations…..
... to be continued..
If you would like to set up a discovery call and connect click the button below!
Stay connected with news and updates!
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.
