1 Rule to Follow That Will Change Everything
Nov 14, 2022
I remember reading about this concept years ago and it truly changed my relationships, how I managed people, how I ran my business and so much more.
Today, I wanted to share the big different between approaching situations with expectation or observation.
When you go into a situation with EXPECTATIONs, you could be setting yourself up for disappointment. However, when you go into a situation with OBSERVATIONs first, you are letting things unfold and more likely to be surprised and pleased with the results. This is because expectation is based on what you think will happen, while observation is based on what is actually happening.
In today's article, we will discuss the concept of observation versus expectation and how it can impact your life both professionally and personally!
First let's talk about expectation. Expectation is based on what you think will happen in a situation. If your expectation does not match the reality, you may be disappointed. Here are some examples:
Work: If you expect to get a promotion at work but don't receive one, you will be disappointed.
You expected your boss to recognize your birthday, however it went unnoticed and you feel upset and disengaged.
Relationship: It’s your anniversary and you “expected” your significant other to have something planned and they didn’t, leaving you disappointed and angry.
You expect your significant other to do chores around the house, like take out the garbage or do the dishes, however they never do them when YOU would, so you just do the chores, leaving you angry and resentful.
Team: You hire a team member and tell them you need a bunch of things done. You circle back around and the things you needed done are not done properly or how you would like them done and you are angry and disappointed.
When your expectations don’t match our reality it can lead to disappointment. Now, of course it’s important to have expectations. Especially when it comes to your business, managing a team and more, however these expectations **need to be clearly communicated** and you should still lead with observing. Things happen and it’s important that you assess the situation first, before getting frustrated and upset. Trust me I’ve fired off quite a few angry emails, before I slowed down and understood what was going on.
Now lets talk about “Observation”. If you go into the situation (where clear expectations have not been set) and simply observe what happens, there is a lesser chance you be disappointed because you had no expectation to begin with. You are merely observing and assessing the situation. Let’s look at the same examples as above using “Observation” along with some tips for communication:
Work
Expectation: If you expect to get a promotion at work but don't receive one, you will be disappointed.
Observation: It’s a normal day at the office, you do your work as always and work hard to ensure you are meeting your goals.
Expectation: You expected your boss to recognize your birthday, however it went unnoticed and you feel upset and disengaged.
Observation: You didn’t say anything about it being your birthday and it was just a regular day at the office.
Communication: Clearly communicate your expectations and what you are working towards with your boss. Let your boss know you are working towards a promotion and ask for feedback to help you get there. If it’s your birthday, tell people if you would like it to be recognized :-)
Relationship
Expectation: It’s your anniversary and you “expected” your significant other to have something planned and they didn’t, leaving you disappointed and angry.
Observation: When you ask your significant other if they have something planned and they do not. You suggest planning something together.
Expectation: You expect your significant other to do chores around the house, like take out the garbage or do the dishes, however they never do them when YOU would, so you just do the chores, leaving you angry and resentful.
Observation: You notice that you are the one doing most of the chores around the house, so you discuss this with your significant other and decide who is responsible for what chores.
Communication: Communication is key. If you are frustrated about something, talk about it. If you would like to do something special for anniversaries, discuss this to make sure you are on the same page. Having unrealistic expectations, when our significant others have no idea what they are, is setting the relationship up for trouble. If you are building resentment because you are doing all the chores around the house, have a discussion about it and I don’t mean an emotional discussion, I mean a facts discussed. IE: This is what’s happening and I would like to put together a plan to make it better.
Team
Expectation: You hire a team member and tell them you need a bunch of things done. You circle back around and the things you needed done are not done properly or how you would like them done and you are angry and disappointed.
Observation: Review the workload that was assigned and discuss with the team member, what went well and what needs work. Also discuss and provide clarity around the specifics of how things need to be done going forward.
Communication: Set clear expectations with your team. Let them know if they have questions or are unsure of something that they need to reach out to you for clarification. Discuss the consequences of failing to complete work and again let them know if they are struggling they need to communicate this with you as soon as possible.
There are many variables that can change the outcome of a situation, so it’s important to be open-minded and observe. Every situation is different and should be observed as such. You can see how communication is key to ensuring a desired outcome. Now if things have been fully communicated and clear expectations have been set…. and you are not achieving your desired outcome, then deeper digging might need to be done (depending on the situation).
In conclusion, I hope this provided some incite around this concept. In most situations, I try to observe things first before getting frustrated. This has been such a game changer and helped in so many situations, rather than jumping to conclusions and feeling frustrated.
For more tips like these and more, check out my “Nancy’s Nuggets” blog at: https://www.thetimetogrow.com/blog
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